D|i|s|a|r|m you with a smile.. [entries|friends|calendar] concubine_mind [ userinfo | deadjournal userinfo ] [ calendar | deadjournal calendar ]

[24 Oct 2005|07:31pm] [ mood | cold ] "I needed fulfillment, I found what I need in you.." So yeah.. Just closed my window. It was getting kind of cold in here. I read Emily's Xanga.. Made me smile, 'cause she said Dylan and I looked cute. Which.. Is a big step up from the whole thinking him and Britt would make a cute couple. That little deal didn't make me too chipper. Oh well. I know what he thinks, and that's what matters.. The lovely Sarah and I have been talking more lately. It's really awesome, 'cause we have a lot in common. I miss having someone to be that close to, and see so often. I think we're staying Wednesday, and Thursday. And on Thursday, I get to hang out with Dylan too ^.^ But yes.. Very cool stuff right there. I'm excited. Today was pretty awesome.. I got 12 bonus points for my test tomorrow in Chem. And I need it, so that works out. Then got some extra help during C lunch, because I was lost in the homework he gave out for the weekend. Talked to Katie during A lunch, then ate with Sarah during B. Fun stuff. But yeah.. I'm suppose to dye Twitter's hair for him sometime. That'll be fun. I love dying hair. Hm.. I cleaned my closet, and went through my clothes. I was kind of sad, not being able to fit half of my shirts anymore. But, now my mom just has more shirts. So.. Damn her for having smaller boobs than I do. Hah. Dylan was suppose to come over yesterday.. I even made cookies.. And my mom said I had to make dinner for him. So I was actually kinda excited. But yeah.. His dad didn't let him come over. Whatever, I'll deal. Though I do want to see him this Sunday. It'll be two months =) This is kinda long, so I'ma go. I need more people to talk to. post comment

Travis... [19 Oct 2005|09:54pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Big Dismal - Missing You ] "In time we'll be together again, and it won't be long.." Travis Andrew Dechene.. RIP, bud.. I love you so much.. And I really hope you like the balloons... Miss you.. [Thanks everyone.. for pitching in.. 'Specially Sarah, you really helped me out.. Dylan.. Thanks for making it to the game. You kept me smiling, which I thought would be the hardest thing to do today.. I love you..] post comment

New people.. [17 Oct 2005|07:47pm] [ mood | friendly ] [ music | Bury Your Dead - Magnolia ] So yeah.. Today was school, like usual.. But I had finished everything for first period on Friday, so I had a free period, yay! Hah.. The rest of the day was normal.. And saw Dylan after school.. When my mom got home, she made me get dressed again to go to Nora's house to meet her kind-of-neice (it's Nora's boyfriend's niece, so she's not technially her aunt) Karissa(sp?) She's alright. We have some stuff in common, which is cool. She's in 8th grade, and knows some people.. But, my mom and Nora both work on Saturday and Sunday, so I think she'll be coming up here those days to hang out. That's cool though. I'm hoping maybe Dylan will come over here Sunday, so they can meet, and he can help her meet some new people. Well, I guess he doesn't have to, but it'd be nice of him. So anyway.. Her and I walked around the park a bunch of times.. Talked to Troy, Coral, Kenny and Aaron. Troy made fun of my boobs. The jerk. We got attacked by a dog, too!! It looked like a lab, but it's tail was cut like a rotweiler's.. Heh, it was really hyper. I didn't like it though, 'cause it was kinda big. Well, bigger than Tora was.. Hah. Hm.. Yeah, so that's about it. When I finally got home, Mom was making mac'n'cheese =D How awesome, hehe. And.. Now I'm just chillin' here, talking to Megan, downloading music.. I'ma go. post comment

=) [16 Oct 2005|06:19pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Hexedene - Only Human (bastard remix) ] Well, haven't updated in a while.. But starting with Friday.. Went to school, which was a drag.. And then came home, realizing that most everyone was having a bad day. Dylan called me, kinda stressed, and we were trying to make plans to hang out. I didn't think we'd get to, but my dad took me out there and picked me up.. Sarah called me a few times, to complain. Which is cool, her and I have a lot in common, lol. Then Colton called me, and Dylan convinced him that we were at my house.. But yeah, I had to convince him we weren't, so that him and DJ wouldn't go up to my house... My dad picked me up at ten.. And I came back here, and talked to Dylan online.. Woke up Saturday 'cause my mom called to tell me we got a new snake ^.^ Rescued boa, and he's alright. Very skinny though.. When mom got home, we fed the snakes, and then went to Arby's for lunch, and to WalMart 'cause I needed bras.. Sadly, I've reached the size I've dreaded for a long time. Saw Andrea, Ashley and Emily there though, so that was cool.. Kinda. Lol, and I got my nails done.. Yay? Came home.. And sat here. Heh Today I got up at 9.. All on my own. Weird. So I helped my mom finish the puzzle, and then fed the snakes some more. Then Dylan called, and said he'd be getting here soon. So yeah.. Went to the mall with him, his mom, and little brothers. Hehe, they're cute. Hm.. They made fun of me for not eating infront of them.. But that's cool, lol. Yeah... Got home, and then.. Sat here. Got bored and thought I'd updated.. Wallah. post comment

Finally! [10 Oct 2005|05:47pm] [ mood | calm ] I finally got to talk to Dylan for a bit today.. Put me in a better mood Was gonna go to the game with Megan, but wasn't allowed.. Dammit! I can't kiss her infront of her boyfriend now >.< Lol Have to go back to school tomorrow.. And surprisingly I finished my chem homework.. 84 problems of balancing chemical equations.. Woohoo! .. /end sarcasm post comment

[09 Oct 2005|11:12pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Seether ft. Amy Lee - Broken ] "There's no way to escape these demons I am forced to keep.." Today has gone in no direction but down.. Dylan's birthday.. How much did I get to talk to him? Maybe 15 minutes.. And not much was even said, except things about the band... I didn't talk to him much at all yesterday, either. I had way too much time to think today.. Considering no one was online, and nobody called me or anything.. I barely ever get to see Dylan.. And... It's really taking its tole on me... I spend too much of my time staying inside hoping he'd stop here by some miracle.. Though I know it won't happen, I still hold onto the thought.. I mean.. Today I got dressed, put on makeup, and did my hair.. Just so I would "look nice" only to find out he wasn't even going to get online 'til like.. 10.30 or so. I have no problems with being with him.. I just feel horrible about not seeing him that often (especially on his birthday).. And.. The thing Colton said about Dylan's priorities is really starting to sink into my head.. I am starting to feel way below the importance of his music.. but I guess I'll have to support him on that one. Then it starts to kick in that I won't get to see him on the 19th.. The day I'll need to be with him most.. I miss Trav so much more lately than ever.. I can't think of one day in the past while that I haven't cried myself to sleep, dreading the 19th's arrival... It's still so hard to believe that he isn't here anymore.. I would give anything to beable to hug him.. And play with his hair like I use to, before the treatments made it fall out.. I miss hearing him make fun of Adam and his deep voice.. And saying all those corny little jokes that still made everyone laugh.. I feel like a horrible friend, not being there to tell him how much I loved him before that day.. And lately, I've just been getting annoyed with everything.. And most people, too.. Which bothers me, 'cause for a while, I was getting along with everyone.. Friends, family.. And people I don't normally like talking to. But now.. I'm just feeling better off not talking to many people. I don't know what's going on.. Maybe this month just needs to go by, and be over with.. I know I'll still miss Trav, but the 19th is infact the hardest day to deal with.. I wish I could do something for Lydia.. And everything with Dylan.. Everything's fine, 'cept for the time we get to hang out together, and his priorities.. Though I suppose they're both things I can't change.. So I'm going to have to cope with them, and do my best to keep things from actually becoming bad.. I guess I'm just worried about losing him, like the case with most other people I've cared about.. So yeah.. Obviously I just complained, a lot.. And probably sound quite emo.. So I think it's time to just.. Go to bed, and stop whining.. I miss you Trav.. 10 days left.. Please help your mom, and all your friends get through this.. I know you have the power to... I love you so much.. post comment

It's his birthday [09 Oct 2005|01:02pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Kittie - Choke ] "There's Only One Word That Describes You, And That's A Hypocrite.." So yeah.. Today is Dylan's 14th birthday, hehe. I texted him at 7.30 this morning to say happy birthday. Apparently it was a "nice surprise." Hehe. Friday I stayed after with him, and we just got drenched.. Which was alright. 'Cept my socks felt so gross... My mom picked us up around 4.45 and we dropped him off at his dad's house. There was a huge puddle, and my mom was joking that one of us should get out and stand beside it, to get hit by the water when she drove through, so I opened the door (while she was still driving) 'cause I was willing to do it. My dad ended up picking him up, and we went to see Into The Blue with Robb and Derek. Fun stuff. But yeah.. Since then I've just been sitting around.. Yesterday we went to WalMart and I got Dylan a present.. And we bought The Amityville Horror, which I thought was pretty good.. Just finished watching it with mom. Just was bored, thought I'd update... So I'ma go, finish my chem homework, and clean my room while AIM redownloads. Later post comment

Confusion will be the death of me.. [05 Oct 2005|08:34pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | 3 Doors Down - Let Me Go ] "You're not something I deserve..." Dylan's birthday is Sunday.. I have no idea what I'm going to do for him, but I do know I'm going to try my best to stay happy, and not be a burden on him.. Even after his birthday. I've begun to think that I've definitely cried in his presence far too much, and it just puts him in a position that he doesn't deserve to be in.. I know he cares, and that helps me more than he would know, and knowing he loves me is the best thing I have to look upon when I'm not feeling the best.. But I believe I can be a better person, and not put weight on his shoulders that is on mine.. I know he realizes that it's tough, losing a friend, but he shouldn't have to be worried about the things I'm going through, when he has a life of his own to live.. Sometimes I feel as though I'm letting him down, being down in the dumps so often.. And I feel like he shouldn't have to deal with me, but I also don't want to lose him.. And, I'm not technically worried about him leaving me, because he cares too much, and he's not a prick, but I do worry that he'll get sick of my pesimistic look upon things, and decide that he can't handle it all either. Then there's moments that I just think I don't show that I care about him enough.. I noticed the other day that I didn't pay much attention to him after school, when I was talking to Brian.. Yes, I was having a conversation with Brian, but I should have given him the better part of my attention.. He's more important, and I want him to know that.. But he won't, unless I show it.. And that's something I'm not the best at.. And I'm really sorry for it. Everything with Toni is confusing me to no end.. I can't think the same way about him anymore, knowing that there's things he's keeping from me.. Even though we've only been friends since last year, I consider him the best friend I have.. Along with Colton.. But hiding things from me is not something I pictured him doing.. He was there for me so much.. And I found out so many things about him within the time that I've known him.. I miss having him around so much, too.. Lately it's been as if he's never there, because he's with Dori.. And, I don't know if it's jealousy, but I do know that I don't trust her with his heart.. I'm kind of afraid he's falling for her, and I don't like her past in relationships, but there really isn't much I can do about it.. I wrote to him just a bit ago, explaining that it hurts me more to know that he's keeping things from me, than to know the truth, even if that would be painful to hear too.. I'm not sure if maybe it's just because I'm not use to it.. Or maybe I'm just waiting to hurt more, so that I can really figure out what the hell is going on. John asked me today if I liked Toni.. And, I love the kid to death.. As my friend.. But.. Anything different than that scares me. I can't lose him, and I definitely can't lose what I have with Dylan.. I'm not going to, either. Because there's got to be a way around that.. And I'm not willing to give either of them up. I guess that's enough complaining for tonight.. So I'm going to end this here.. Friday should cheer me up, can't wait Hilariousness of the day:: "I bought an ant farm once.. And I was like 'You guys don't farm crap! And besides, if I tore all your legs off, you'd look like snowmen!'" - Jeff post comment

Three days in a row! [02 Oct 2005|08:46pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | None. I'm watching The War At Home ] So, the past three days, I've gotten to hang out with Dylan! It was so awesome.. Friday we went to see Corpse Bride at the Carlisle theater.. Heh, he decided to pay my way in, which is cute, but I don't like people paying for me.. So, when we sat down, I was trying to get my money in his pocket.. But yeah.. It was a lot of fun, and the movie was good. We ended up sitting outside waiting for my dad for about an hour.. Heh, it was cool though. We just talked and I complained about these people wasting popcorn. Hehe Saturday Hannah came over, and when Colton and Dylan got home from practice, they came up here.. We all just hung out, and I was really glad to get to hang out with Dylan again.. Today Dylan and Colton came up around 11, which was when Hannah woke up.. We just sat on the couch and watched TV but Dyl's mom got here at 12, so until 5 today it was just Hannah, Colton and I... I was hoping to go to WalMart, but my mom decided not to go because it was "getting late." I just got a shower, and sat here... Dylan got kicked offline a little bit ago, but I really wish he'd get back on.. His birthday is in a week.. I need to figure out what I'm doing for him.. It's great being in a relationship I don't have to worry about falling apart... post comment

[06 Sep 2005|07:45pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Rasputina - Me. E. Leon Rauis ] So, not much going on.. 'Til tomorrow. I'm staying after school with Hannah, Brittany, and Colton.. There's a 9th grade football game at 6.30, and Dylan and Megan are going to show up ^.^ I can't wait.. Well, the battle between Britt and Tiff seems to just thicken.. I like talking to Britt, a lot.. And I love Tiff, but she does nothing but complain about Brittany, "posers" and pot.. And her new thing of stealing just.. Isn't floating well with me.. I don't know.. I'm just hoping that they both realize that being so angry with eachother is stupid, or just drop the whole thing completely... post comment

Lyrics.. [04 Sep 2005|09:15pm] [ mood | numb ] [ music | Across Five Aprils - A Year From Now ] Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours, In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, That first step that you took was the worst. Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark, And I still have these memories, But will never see what we could have been. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember, Cause that's all you can do. We'll never make another memory, We'll never make another memory. I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together, So I wouldn't have to wake without you today. This time I thought things were real, You said they were, What happened? You were a priority, Was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart, I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough. So, we'll go our own ways, And hopefully you'll remember these things i've told you, Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, But I guess i've learned from it. But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way, Cause i'm still in love with the person who helped me write it. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? post comment

"So precious loving the thrill.." [06 Jul 2005|11:44pm] [ mood | confused ] I don't know if I'm tired.. Or bummed.. I got to sit at home today, and talk to Adam for a while.. But at 6 I had to go out to eat with my dad, aunt, uncle and cousins since they leave tomorrow. My mom worked second shift so.. Yeah.. I was hoping he'd call at 9, but he didn't.. I was just sitting at the hotel at that time, extremely bored. *shrugs* Oh well, maybe he's actually getting sleep, heh. So yeah.. The car ride home wasn't that lovely.. Got upset, then just fell asleep.. But I think I'ma go to bed to get up and talk to him. Later ºAdam, I love you... Sorry I left when I did, but I kinda had no choice, heh. Hopefully it's all good now <33 post comment

"This happiness is killing her.." [06 Jul 2005|12:15pm] [ mood | awake ] Fill it out and post it as a comment Sabrina is _____. Sabrina needs ______. I want to _____ Sabrina. Sabrina can ______. Someday Sabrina will _______. Sabrina reminds me of _______. Without Sabrina, _________. Sabrina can be _______. Sabrina is always _______. Worst thing about Sabrina is ________. Best thing about Sabrina is ________. I think Sabrina should _________. If Sabrina was an animal, she would be a ______. Right now, I bet Sabrina is thinking about _______. Sabrina makes me want to _______. Sabrina probably tastes like ________. If I could spend the day with Sabrina, I'd ____________. I'd ______ for Sabrina. Sabrina is made of _________. Sabrina is the _________. If I could be Sabrina for a day, I'd ______. I want to give Sabrina a ________. The song _____ by _____ reminds me of Sabrina. Hehe 2 comments|post comment

"Someone said it's alright.." [05 Jul 2005|06:01pm] [ mood | cheerful ] :) Wonderful day, again. So much fun.. Woke up at about 7.30, got a shower, then walked to Mike J's house, with Colton at 8.30, to hang out with those two, Brice and Adam<33 Yay.. Got there around 9. Hehe.. I'm so stupidly happy when it comes to him that I just have to laugh at myself.. But yeah, we got there, and just sat in Mike's room for a while since it was rainging (It rained on Colton and I when we were walking, haha).. But yeah.. Made me happy. I love hanging out with him... Yeah.. After it dried up, we went outside for them to skate but it was too hot so everyone went back in.. Then Colton left around 3.15, and then they went back out to skate.. And actually did. Mike's a dumbass, lol.. Yeah.. But then.. I only stayed 'til a little before 5 'cos I didn't want Adam to get in trouble with his mom, heh. So yeah.. He walked to the end of the road with me, and then I had to leave.. Took me half an hour to get home, and yeah, now I'm writing this.. He's on, so.. I'ma go. Heh :) post comment

"Scotty doesn't know!!" Haha.. [05 Jul 2005|12:33am] [ mood | loved ] Frickin' SCORE! Hehe.. I'm so incredibly happy.. Adam decided to forget about wanting to be single over the summer.. And I couldn't agree more, hehehe.. So yes. That would be the cause of my outrageously happy mood Ya know what really makes me adore Adam more.. Is that.. With him, I don't worry about Brian. And with Cory, I still did.. But, I think that means something :) <33 I would go on and on about Adam.. But I don't wanna get annoying, lol. So.. I'm gonna go.. Paint my nails! Or something, haha, who knows... I'm too happy to sit at the computer. Later everyone post comment

[04 Jul 2005|12:33pm] Fill it out, I guess... 1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. How have I affected you? 5. What do you think of me? 6. What's the fondest memory you have of me? 7. How long do you think we will be friends? 8. Do you love me? 9. Do you have a crush on me? 10. Would you kiss me? 11. Would you hug me? 12. Physically, what stands out? 13. Emotionally, what stands out? 14. Do you wish I was cooler? 15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? 16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it: 17. Am I loveable? 18. How long have you known me? 19. Describe me in one word: 20. What was your first impression? 21. Do you still think that way about me now? 22. What do you think my weakness is? 23. Do you think I'll get married? 24. What makes me happy? 25. What makes me sad? 26. What reminds you of me? 27. If you could give me anything what would it be? 28. How well do you know me? 29. When's the last time you saw me? 30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 31. Do you think I could kill someone? Blah.. I'm bored.. My parents woke me up around 9.30 to go shopping and stuff, but I didn't feel like going, so I had to convince them to let me stay home and sleep. I should have gotten online once they left, though, 'cos then I think I could have talked to Adam<33 since he updated his Xanga this morning, hehe. Oh well, I'm sure he'll call later. 6 comments|post comment

"And all my life, I've dreamed of someone like you.." [03 Jul 2005|03:15pm] [ mood | cheerful ] Well! Yesterday was pretty awesome too.. But I'm not gonna write abuot all of it, considering I did in the last entry (Yeah, I tried typing this eariler, and it was really long, but my computer was gay and closed it) I was hanging out with Colton, he was excited about his new guitar, which looks awesome as shit. It's an awesome color! But yes.. And when he called me, I invited him to the fireworks, but then my parents decided they didn't wanna go, so his mommy took us.. Before we left, though, I was just hanging out with him at his house, watching him play and watching a little TV.. Then I tried sleeping so I wouldn't fall asleep at the fairgrounds, but Colton wouldn't let me. Lol, he kept touching me with his feet and screaming in my ears.. Very bad. And I couldn't hide my eyes with Adam's hat, 'cos he'd still do it. Which, I guess it was a giveaway that I was trying to sleep but yeah.. So Colton's mommy took us, and when Colton and I were looking for Adam, we must have just completely missed him, but that's 'cos I'm blind. He saw us though, and we heard him skating.. Colton noticed him first, 'cos I'm too stupid to look when I hear something getting closer to me, haha. Oh well. Yeah, we went and sat down and just talked and watched Colton play 'til the fireworks started.. And when they did, I was happy. I'm glad Adam's not one of those stupid guys that act completely different when other people are around -- I felt special. But yes, I was warm too :) :) He makes me so happy, and it's weird, 'cos I haven't talked to him for that long.. Yeah.. I was sad when they were over 'cos we had to leave, but it was cool.. I was really happy :) Lol Then Colton's mom took us to WalMart and Kim called me and wanted to know if I wanted to stay at her house for the night 'cos her boyfriend went camping and she was home alone.. I love hanging out with her.. She's not like a normal aunt, which is kickass. But yeah, it was late and I didn't wanna make her drive out to pick me up. 'Sides, I had to be here today 'cos my other Aunt Kim, and her husband and two kids are coming today. They're going to be surprised, 'cos I'm not as little as I used to be, and definitely don't dress the same, now that I am capable of dressing myself. But yeah.. Adam called when he got home, and I was still at WalMart, and then I talked to him on the ride home, and 'til about 4 in the morning, it was cool. I love talking to him.. But, since I hadn't gotten much sleep at all, I was struggling to keep myself awake. I felt bad for leaving, but he understands, so it's cool. Hehe.. Man.. I don't know how long it's been since I've been this happy. I can't stop smiling. Someone smack me, haha. Yeah.. He called me this morning, too around 12 or something. It was cool, though he woke me up, lol. It's okay.. I don't mind :) Talked on the phone a while, then just talked online 'til Mike got there to pick him up.. Hopefully he'll call when he gets home. But! My aunt and uncle are here, and yeah.. They were talking about how much I've changed. *shrugs* It's cool. I'm gonna go though.. Adam-- I'm glad I got to go.. It was a lot of fun.. Glad you were warm, and sorry for the pinching thing, hehe.. <3 Colton-- It was cool to hang out, we haven't for a while which is really weird, and thanks for taking me. Obviously I really appreciate it, heh post comment

"You steal my pain away.." [02 Jul 2005|01:28pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] Okay... So! I typed this earlier, but my computer froze, and I lost the whole entry. Yesterday = Awesome! Got to hang out with Tiffy a lot, she dyed my hair (Spank you very much Miss Tiffany :D) And then got to go to Midway.. And saw Adam! Woohoo! AND MEGAN! Yay :) It was so much fun.. I wouldn't talk to him at first, because we all know my opinion of myself. And yeah, I was shy. But Tiff called him over, and then I was good, no more shyness. Yes.. Cory showed up, too. But didn't talk to me for a while, I'm guessing 'cos of Adam. *shrugs* Oh well. I'm finished with the secrets and shit that Cory's got going. 'Sides.. I'm convinced there's better. :) Anyway! So I got to wear his shirt some, too. Very cool, mainly 'cos he wore mine.. In the picture on my Xanga. It was funny, and he skated around once with it on. Hm.. When he had to leave, I hadda give his shirt back, obviously, and that was very exciting :) Lol, I ran up to Megan jumping up and down being happy. Then the whole way home Tiffy was laughing at me for smiling so much. I have his beanie. 'Cos I rule. Yes.. Something obviously exciting happened, even though it wasn't much. I dunno what he'd say about me saying it in there though *shrugs* Anyway.. When I got home he got online.. We talked on there, and then he signed off and called me. We were talking 'til about 5-5.30, hehe. Yes. I haven't gone to sleep AT ALL since... 12.45 yesterday, lol. But yeah.. Once I got off the phone with him, I saw Lissa was online.. We walked and met halfway, talked there for a while, then went to swing at her house. Then I came home.. Ended up going to the grocery store with my mom and aunt, Kim. I got too tired of walking around and being around all the people that I got the car keys and went to lay down. There was an Incubus concert playing on 105.7, so that was cool. Came home, then Lissa came up.. Then.. We went to Ollie's and Gabe's. I got some clothes, which is good 'cos I needed pants. This isn't finished, just don't wanna lose everything I typed. 2 comments|post comment

"And we'll share a bottle there..." [30 Jun 2005|05:58pm] [ mood | accomplished ] Hehe, I did my make up, all on my own. Tiffy demonstrated, and I learned. Go me! Heh, I'm like a 4 year old... Lol Yes, it's seems simple. But you all probably don't realize how horrible I am with makeup. Other than eyeliner, haha. 1 comment|post comment

"I died inside my own head..." [30 Jun 2005|01:48pm] [ mood | bouncy ] Wow!! I've been awake since 1.30 in the afternoon yesterday ^.^ Pulled an all-nighter with Miss Tiffany and Jennski. Very cool. I've decided I don't give a damn anymore :) So much easier that way, definitely. So yeah.. Stayed up talking to those two last night, and Robert, and Derek... (I've been talking to Robert since April, and Derek and I just started talking a few days ago -- He say me on buddypic) And something horrible happened... Robert turns 18 in three months. Which, is usually awesome, but he has to go to basic training for four months.. Then gets shipped off to wherever they decide to send him. His dad forced him to sign papers to be in the army. So yes.. I believe last night was the last time I'll get to talk to him in.. A long while. It really sucks too, he was an awesome guy... Hopefully he didn't get into too much trouble sneaking back last night. *shrugs* Good news though!! Squeg might get to go home tomorrow!!!! I'm so happy :D Today was filled with.. ranting. Bryan let me vent, and Jenn and I were completely honest with eachother about all this shit with Cory.. That's where the "I don't give a damn anymore" thing comes from. It might make him feel bad to read that, but I'm not going to sit around being sad over someone who's going to do that stuff, you know? I thought I could trust him, and apparently not. The bad thing is -- I still have feelings for him, ya know? So yes.. I was talking to Bryan.. He's cool. I told him he's my new favorite person 'cos he listens to me all the time. Heh. Very fun guy. Blahhhhh. Three times today have I cleaned the kitchen floor. Just tp make sure she couldn't tell me I didn't do it right. The worst part was that I had to used a washcloth >.< My hands are so sore. My knees too, haha. (sick though) But yeah.. That was basically my day.. And I thought I'd update to stay awake :) I believe I'm going to post pictures, heh. Later everyone 2 comments|post comment

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